It's late Monday morning, I begin my journey to Swaziland tomorrow and I have put writing this blog post off until the last possible minute. I didn't forget... I'm not overwhelmed, the packing is almost done... but just honestly, I'm not feeling very 'spiritual.' Wow, now I'm about to be really honest... My quiet times have been sparse, my prayer life weak and dry and my mind wanders far too much on Sundays!
I've been in a similar place before, but this time something is different... I'm not feeling guilty about it... I'm not worried that God is displeased with me and therefore I should make a renewed effort to be more disciplined. I'm just waiting and praying a very simple prayer (I'll share that in a minute.) One of our very wise pastors once said to me, "Sometimes God tears something down so that He can rebuild it again." I'm pretty certain that's what is happening now!
My understanding of God for so many years was pretty (really ALOT) legalistic. I knew I couldn't earn my way to heaven, but after salvation, I lived like I had to do a lot to insure God's acceptance and pleasure with me. But a while back, a very wise friend (thankfully I have lots of wise people in my life) said, "Quit obsessing on sin and start obsessing on Jesus."
So I have stepped back from my list of 'to-do's and to-don'ts' and just started asking God to give me a desire to know Jesus more, and to only want Him. And I'm finding with each passing day, that prayer is being answered. Funny, as God grows the desire for more of Jesus, the desire for time in His Word, prayer and worship grows with it! Now it's becoming a want to, not just something to be checked off my list of 'good Christian practices.'
So how are you? How's your relationship with Jesus? As Jesus prayed for us, before His death, He said, "And this is eternal life: that they know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent." John 17:3 Jesus knew that all we need in this life is found in a relationship with Him and His Father... Everything good and righteous and holy will be an overflow of that relationship... So quit obsessing on sin (and your 'to do' list) and start obsessing on Jesus!